


From Here Until Eternity

by OniZenmaru



Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Reincarnation, Everything is Beautiful and Nothing Hurts, Except for Dimitri, He cannot help but self-sabotage himself, M/M, Mild Hurt/Comfort, What can I say I like to bully Dimitri, You can pry the twin AU from my cold dead hands
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-24
Updated: 2019-10-24
Packaged: 2021-01-02 05:47:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,710
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21156596
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OniZenmaru/pseuds/OniZenmaru
Summary: Dimitri remembers...and Dimitri longs





	From Here Until Eternity

**Author's Note:**

> Spoilers for the Blue Lions route and Dimitri's fate in all the others

Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd is nine years old when he remembers _everything_.

He awoke in the middle of the night screaming, hands coming to fist themselves in his blond locks as his head began to fill with memories of war, blood, betrayal, and sorrow. It was far too much for someone so young to handle, but there was nothing to be done except sob. The sound of his door flying opened startles him enough that he nearly tumbled out of bed, but once he regained his bearings enough to focus, his gaze fell on a woman frantically asking him what was wrong.

Dimitri could not remember this woman, or rather his past self had no memory of ever meeting her. He had only ever seen her likeness in the paintings that hung along the castle walls, so seeing her in the flesh caused him to stare in awe. It did not take long for even fatter tears to roll down his cheeks, and the woman before him didn’t hesitate to envelope him in a warm, loving embrace as she tried to sooth him.

His birth mother…the one that died before he was even old enough to remember her face, was gently stroking his hair, humming a tune his current self had heard numerous times. After that moment it took quite a bit of adjusting to get use to the world around him; his memories mixed and mingled to the point where he sometimes forgot which where the current ones and which belonged to his former self.

That person…how foolish a person he’d been in the past, always recklessly rushing ahead to seek revenge on those that had taken so much from him. He believed his fury was righteous, but all it had gotten him, more often than not, was killed. Every now and then he swore he felt the phantom pain from where he’d been struck down in the past.

Only once had he succeeded in his attempts…only to learn that his own stepmother was responsible for the events that lead to the slaughter of his loved ones. It was a true miracle that he hadn’t lost what sanity he’d gained back in that moment.

Once that woman made an appearance in his current life, Dimitri couldn’t help but feel tense whenever she was in his presence. She had moved in next door, and even though she was all smiles when speaking to his parents as they welcomed her to the neighborhood, he clung tightly to his mother’s skirt. His grip only became tighter when Edelgard and her siblings introduced themselves, and after asking how old he was, she regarded him for a moment before placing her hands on her hips.

_‘You may call me ‘Big Sis El’’ _was what she finally said (more like commended) with a straight face, and Dimitri was torn between staring dumbly or laugh at her absurdity.

Edelgard quickly became a constant in his new life, and even though he was civil with her most of the time, in his heart he still carried a burning hatred for her. A part of Dimitri screamed for blood and vengeance, screamed for the head of the witch so that he may offer it to the dead as atonement. But another part of him, the one that remembered a guiding hand that never gave up on him, reasoned that his anger was misplaced.

Dimitri had no right to pass judgment on her for the crimes of her former self, for she was not Edelgard von Hresvelg, princess of the Adrestian Empire, the Flame Empire, or the future tyrant who would attempt to bring Fódlan to its knees. In this modern era she was just…the girl next door who loved reading books above her grade level and hated swimming. But really, could he truly hate someone his small friend group had welcomed with open arms?

It would seem that no matter the place or time, Felix, Ingrid, and Sylvain were destined to be his childhood friends. Dimitri was more than grateful to have them in his life, but he worried the same heartache would follow them like it had in the past. The only reason he held out any hope that maybe, just maybe, his friends would be spared was because Miklan hadn’t been disowned by the Gautier household.

Crests did not seem to exist in this modern world, and the mere mention of them earned odd looks from his friends.

_‘Like that thing knights in fairy tales have? What’s it called…a coat of armor?’ _

_‘It’s called a ‘coat of **arms**,’ Sylvain…’ Ingrid had corrected._

Perhaps the whole wretched system had been overhaled many years ago, or perhaps their bloodlines had become too diluted, or maybe…they never existed at all in this world. Either way it was one less burden for Sylvain to deal with. However, to actually see Miklan act like a responsible, caring older brother was truly jarring. He remembers the horror stories the Sylvain of the past nonchalantly told about the man trying to end his young life various times, and yet he never held any hatred for his older brother who he saw as just another victim of an unfair system.

With that system gone, they were finally given a chance to bond like brothers should.

In fact, Miklan had been such a doting older brother that the day he left for college, Sylvain had broken down crying. His crying had unintentionally made Felix start because he didn’t know how to console his friend, then Ingrid started because she didn’t know how to remedy the situation, and then finally he started because everyone else was crying and he didn’t like seeing his friends upset. Edelgard had looked at the four of them like they had lost their minds.

The same thing happened when Glenn had left, though Felix managed to hold back the water works better than Sylvain had. As distressing as those partings were, it made Dimitri believe that it was the worst he’d experience in their young lives, and for a little while he felt…content.

\---

“So, have you made any plans?” Edelgard asks while glancing over her shoulder at him.

They’re on their way home from school, and like always she walks ahead of their small but growing group. Hubert looms behind them, who unsurprisingly latched onto Edelgard the year she moved to town. His presence was…off putting to say the least. Dimitri slows his pace and gives her a questioning look.

“Plans for what?”

“Your birthday. I know it isn’t until the end of the year, but it doesn’t hurt to start planning ahead.”

“Yeah!” Sylvain chimes in, earning an annoyed look from Edelgard for interrupting her. “Turning 13 is a big deal! You’re finally a teen, so you should totally do something cool, like a party at the ice-skating rink or-”

Dimitri barely hears what Sylvain is saying as his blood runs cold.

\---

He’d been so content, so relieved that his friends were having a happy childhood, that he’d completely forgotten about _that_ incident.

The year he’d turn 13…the year he lost everyone important to him because of that **_damn witch Edel_**\- no, no, no…she had nothing to do with it. Dimitri had to constantly remind himself that it was Patricia who’d organized the event that robbed him of his loved ones, and her reasoning behind it…well, it didn’t exist in this word since her family was whole. However, this did not stop Dimitri from being on edge the rest of the year.

Just because his former stepmother no longer had a reason to start a bloody conflict, didn’t mean the people around him were safe because Fate could still screw him over. Even if they did not meet their end at the end of a blade, a car crash, a sudden illness, or running into the wrong people could snatch them away just as easily. Dimitri knew everyone around him noticed his behavior change, but what could he tell them?

_‘I remember my past lives and fear the people I care about will die horribly_? Yeah, that was sure to alarm and get him labeled crazy by everyone around him, and he’d received enough of that treatment in the past. Dimitri also worried about the possibility of triggering someone’s memory of their former selves if he brought up the past. He did not wish to burden someone with the knowledge of their past, especially since he was not the only person whose past was stained with blood.

No one deserved that…so Dimitri would keep quiet for the sake of his friend’s happiness. After all, suffering in silence was something he was used to.

\---

“Helloooo? Earth to Dimitri, did you hear _anything_ I just said?”

A hand is waved in front of his face, and Dimitri flinches, not realizing he’s been staring off into space. Rubbing the back of his neck, he offers an apologetic smile for not paying attention.

“S-Sorry Claude, what were you saying?”

This earns him a pout, but he doesn’t look genuinely upset with him. The very early appearance of Claude in his life was another thing that threw him for a loop, because he hadn’t expected to meet him until maybe high school. So, imagine his surprise when a few months ago he recognized the boy moving in across the street with his family, a mishmash of emotions churning in his stomach as their eyes met.

Dimitri had yet to decipher the true meaning of the smirk Claude had given him that day.

“I _said_,” he starts with a huff, “Hilda offered to paint my nails, but I couldn’t decide what color I wanted. I was going to show which I narrowed it down to, but you totally just snapped your pen in half. Dude, wasn’t that, like, metal?”

Snapping his head down, he sees that Claude is correct. His hand is covered in blue ink that’s beginning to drip down onto the piece of paper he’d been writing with. Even if the crests were long gone, it seemed the unnatural strength passed down through the Blaiddyd bloodline remained, leading to him breaking things a normal person couldn’t even dent. Like the metal pen his father gave him since he kept breaking his pencils.

“Oh!” he gasps, the embarrassment causes a light blush to settle on his cheeks.

Claude snickers at him but is kind enough to retrieve the box of tissue off the teacher’s desk, and before he can even set it down, Dimitri is removing a few with his non inky hand. It hadn’t gotten on his uniform (lest he get scolded by his mother), but the assignment he’d been working on was ruined. Their attempts to get the ink up were only making things worse, so he heads for the bathroom, thankful that this had happened during their lunch period rather than during class.

On the way he ends up running into Felix, who frowns as he looks between his hand and his face.

“…Did you seriously break a _metal _pen?”

“Y-Yeah…”

Felix rolls his eyes before taking his wrist, and Dimitri questions where they’re going since they’re going the opposite direction of the bathroom. Their destination is apparently the nurse’s office, because according to Felix he needed something stronger than soap and water to get the ink off his skin. That…made sense. His friend rants about how he need to learn how to control himself, and Dimitri can’t help but smile a little at his unusual way of showing concern.

But it’s him saying ‘still a boar prince I see’ under his breath that has Dimitri suddenly stopping, eyes wide as he stares at the back of Felix’s head. From the way he tenses up Felix hadn’t meant for him to hear, and the two of them stand in the middle of the hallway as a heavy silence settles between them. Dimitri isn’t sure what to say, or rather he wants to say a number of things but can’t settle on just one.

“…How long?” he finally says, voice small.

“Three months…” Felix mutters, his grip tightening.

Another beat of silence passes between them, and with each second that goes by Dimitri can feel himself shaking.

“I’m…I-I’m so sorry-"

“For _what_?” Felix snaps as he turns around. “Wait, do you think I remember everything because of something you did? No, you dumbass, it wasn’t your fault.”

“But-"

“Not all the misfortune in the world is your fault, Boar. It just…happened,” he says, and before Dimitri can say anything else, he’s given a pointed glare. “For all you know it could’ve been something Glenn or my shitty father said or did-”

“FRALDARIUS. OFFICE. NOW.”

They both jump at the sound of one of their teachers sounding none too pleased with Felix’s word choice. Sadly, this wasn’t anything new; Felix gets sent to the principal’s office at least once a week for swearing, and today is apparently that day. With a groan, he releases Dimitri’s wrist, though before stalking down the hallway he tells him to still head to the nurse’s office.

Dimitri smiles again, but this one is far more forced.

\---

The year came and went, and the only major incident that occurred was him getting attacked by a dog while helping Dedue.

As he sat in the hospital getting the wound on his leg treated (nothing a few stiches couldn’t fix), Dimitri began to reevaluate his current way of life.

\---

Spending much of the year in a state of fear had amounted to very little, and the only true victim of it all was _him_. It was truly laughable to think that for once it wasn’t a horrific tragedy snatching his childhood away but his own memories. Dimitri had been so used to not living like a normal child that once he was given the opportunity to do so, he sabotaged himself.

He was no longer the crown prince and future ruler of the Holy Kingdom of Faerghus, but a simple boy who had been using his past as a crutch the moment he remembered it. Instead of using his newfound knowledge to navigate his life better, he had allowed it to consume and define him. In the end, he had unintentionally become the person he swore he wouldn’t.

However, there was still time to fix his mistake now that he had acknowledge it. He knew it would be an uphill battle between the will to live a normal life and the memories of who he once was, but he was more than willing to try. It would also serve as an apology for worrying those close to them, because showing them that he was taking steps in the right direction seemed far better than a simple ‘I’m sorry.’

Dimitri would live for the sake of the future and not the past.

\---

“…Dimitri…”

“Y-Yes?”

“How in the _hell _did you even get this answer?”

He’s not even sure how many nervous laughs he’s let out in the last hour to cover up his embarrassment, but it’s clearly been one too many since Edelgard pinches the brim of her nose when another one leaves his mouth. Claude glances up from his phone to give him a shit eating grin, which makes Dimitri once again question why he’s even here if he isn’t going to help. The again, Edelgard looks about ready to maul him, so maybe it is a good thing Claude’s here.

It’s not his fault math just…flies over his head.

As much as he hates bothering people with his problems, _especially_ Edelgard and _especially_ when finals week was coming up, everyone else he could turn to is busy. Ingrid has club activities, Claude is currently relishing in his misery, and Sylvain is at Felix’s place…‘studying’…and the last thing he wants to do is walk in on those two ‘studying’ again. Three times was three times too many.

Dimitri had met a good chunk of the monastery student body upon entering high school, particularly the remainder of the Blue Lions, who reassured him that if needed help with anything they’d be more than willing to help with anything. But…he knew they too needed to study for finals, so that left him with one option: Edelgard. She was always one step ahead of the class, and sometimes even the teacher, absorbing material that would take other a few lessons to learn in an instance.

Though, that didn’t exactly mean she the greatest at _teaching_ said material…to put it bluntly, her patience was about as short as she was.

“Why exactly do you need tutoring? Aren’t you getting a passing grade?” Claude questions, brow arched.

“Yes, but it’ll look much better on my transcript if I raise it a whole letter grade or two,” he says, and he doesn’t miss the looks of pity the two of them give him.

“You might want to aim lower…” Edelgard starts as she glances down at his notes, “…Much lower.”

With a groan, Dimitri places his forehead against the table. He knows it’s unnecessary since his other grades along with his athletic accomplishments were more than enough to get him into the college he wanted, but there’s a need inside him to push himself just a little harder. Some part of him though it humorous that maybe he’s trying to show off, but to who? Dimitri takes a moment to think, and once it comes to him his face suddenly feels like it’s on fire.

Ah…right…

As grateful as he was to have his former friends and family in his life, there was someone missing…someone he desperately wanted to see. Dimitri had waited patiently, but as the years flew by without them meeting, he began to worry. Maybe if he put himself out there more, achieved a bit of a name for himself, then maybe he’d catch wind of it. Well, if they were even a teacher that is.

However, that dark part of him, the one that still whispers that he does not deserve happiness, tries to make him believe that this is karma. _‘It’s **your** fault he isn’t here,’ ‘you overindulged in this happy word and **this** is your punishment’, ‘even if you do find him, what makes you think he wants **anything** to do with you?’._ On and on those thoughts went, and as Dimitri closed his eyes, he briefly entertained the idea of believing them. The only reason he doesn’t is because he remembers the sight of a barely there smile, one that had set his heart ablaze.

_‘It’s downright mesmerizing’_

How in the goddesses’ name had he said that with a straight face? Yes, he had meant it, but he truly wished to smack his past self for being so…so _blunt_. But that smile had stayed with him, even when he couldn’t remember it. During the times he hadn’t chosen the Blue Lions, Dimitri unconsciously sought him out, not really understanding why the man had captivated him so. He couldn’t remember but deep down he always felt something, like an invisible string tugging him the other’s direction.

It made their future confrontations that more painful, because even while gripped with madness and a thirst for revenge, in the pit of his very existence he was still happy to see him.

Dimitri doesn’t care how, he just…wants to see the man he once called his professor, his friend, and…his husband.

“You know…I might know someone who could help you,” he hears Claude say, and Dimitri opens his eyes to glance over at him. “No offense, Edelgard, but your way of teaching is a little too…technical, and the person I know might be a better fit for our golden boy here.”

“None taken. Quite honestly, I’m curious about this mysterious person who could properly teach someone as thick skulled as him.”

“Hey-!”

“Don’t worry, they can get through the thickest of skulls.”

Dimitri almost pouts at his friend’s lack of regard for his feelings, but this person has piqued his interest as well.

“Of course, I expect proper compensation for such a big favor~,” he says, and Dimitri can’t help but groan.

“What do you want, Claude…?”

He watches as Claude strokes his chin and gives a long ‘hmmm’, and Dimitri wonders why he must taunt him with all these theatrics. He knows its utter bullshit; before this conversation even started, Claude had already figured out exactly he wanted out of him, and all the extra flair is just to keep him in suspense.

“How about…a Sephora gift card?”

“I’m not going any higher than $50.”

The smirk that spreads across Claude’s lips tells him that was the wrong thing to say.

“Make it $60 and I won’t send them the video of you singing Mr. Brightside when you were 14.”

“_YOU STILL HAVE THAT-?!_”

“Yes or no?”

This favor had quickly turned into extortion, but what other choice does Dimitri have? He agrees through gritted teeth, and chooses to ignore the snort Edelgard quickly covers up with a cough. Claude steps outside to make the call since they’re in the library, and Dimitri’s head finds its way back to the table, though this time in a much harder manner.

“So…Mr. Brightside, huh?”

“Don’t. Start.”

\---

He catches himself staring longer than necessary, but once again the person next to him doesn’t seem to acknowledge it. Dimitri knows it’s extremely rude, especially since doesn’t explain his reasoning for staring in the first place, but…the situation is just so _odd_.

A few days after Claude had shaken him down for a gift card, he found himself seated at a table near the back of the library, a small stack of books to his left and Edelgard to his right. She had accompanied him to see just want kind of person had impressed Claude enough to recommend them, which was understandable.

Despite his carefree attitude, Claude was without a doubt a genius; he memorized entire textbooks just so he didn’t have to lug them around, and even when they were younger Dimitri had overheard their teachers saying that he could easily skip a grade. He possessed a tactical mind that always seemed to be one step ahead of everyone, so for someone to have _impressed_ Claude enough for him to sing their praises, well…Dimitri was curious.

Nothing could prepare him for who greeted the two of them. It’d been drizzling that day, so when a figure wearing an oversized sweater with the hood up approached, he hadn’t thought much of it. Once the hood came down, Dimitri gaped at the person underneath. She couldn’t have been that much older than him and Edelgard, but what really captivated him were her eyes.

He _knew_ those eyes…but he did not recognize who they belonged to. There was a feeling of familiarity, but it hadn’t felt the same as it had in the past. So, he stared, and the girl stared right back, gaze unwavering. Dimitri only snapped out of it when he heard Edelgard clear her throat, and he quickly apologized for his rude behavior. She seemed to take no offence and made an apology of her on for being a bit late.

_‘My name is Beleth, I do no mind if you call me Bel’_

Dimitri’s mouth had gone dry.

It’s been weeks since that exchange, and even though the initial unease he felt around her has subsided, sometimes he couldn’t help but watch her. Beleth shared a few mannerisms with Byleth (like her tendency to tilt her head to the side when she was deep in thought), and whenever he noticed them, Dimitri would think fondly of a time when Byleth had done the same.

Truthfully, it’s a blessing and a curse, because it makes his heart ache for him even more. That isn’t to say he doesn’t enjoy her company now. Claude had every right to be impressed with her; the way she taught made everything so much easier to understand, and at the end of two weeks he had are far greater grasp on things. Even Edelgard had been surprised.

Speaking of Edelgard…

Dimitri had expected her to only accompany him the one time, saying she had wanted to make sure he was in capable hands. So he was a little confused when she continued to tag along, and even more confused when Hubert wasn’t with her. From what he heard he was given ‘off time’ (which he apparently spent with Ferdinand…he’s not sure how that happened) during her after school extracurricular activities, but Dimitri didn’t think meeting with Beleth counted as such.

He brought it up with Claude once, and he stared at him for a long while before saying ‘_oh sweet summer child_’. After reminding him that he was born during the winter, his friend made a noise akin to a dying whale as he collapsed to the ground in fit of laughter. He was a bit annoyed Claude hadn’t given him a straight answer, so he spent his next tutoring session trying to figure things out on his own.

From the corner his eye he watched Edelgard, watched as she asked Beleth a question regarding something in the book she was reading, and as she leaned in, he watched as Edelgard’s pale cheeks were dusted with a light pink-

_…Oh._

\---

“So…when are you going to ask Beleth out?”

Dimitri had never seen Edelgard so red before.

\---

It was one of those days were he and Beleth finished early, so they fill a bit of the time with idle chit-chat. Well, Dimitri usually does most of the talking since she wasn’t exactly the chattiest person unless she was tutoring him, but she seemed more than willing to converse with him. The topics ranged from the weather, to Edelgard’s absence (he assumed she was off sorting her feelings out but didn’t tell Beleth that), and finally on school.

“Since you attend Garreg Mach, I was wondering…could you recommend an interesting literature course? I’m partial to the classics and historical fiction, but if the teacher is engaging, I don’t mind taking whatever.”

Her lips pull into a thin line, and even though he’s gotten use to her stares, this one seems…different. It felt piercing, as if she was trying to see into his very soul. Had he said something wrong…? Before an apology tumbles out of his mouth, Beleth blinks and the look is gone.

“I never really took an interest in literature outside of the required courses, so I can’t really say. However…” she pauses, almost like she’s hesitating, “…my brother…he’s a TA for one of the professors there and is doing his thesis on the impact of classic literature on modern society. If you want…I could see if he could make our next session.”

“Really? Thank you very much, I’d really appreciate that!” Dimitri says, and he can hardly keep the grin off his face.

Beleth simply hums as she begins to text something on her phone, and Dimitri has the odd feeling she isn’t exactly pleased for some reason.

\---

Stupid, _stupid, **stupid**_!

How could he be so stupid?!

The day has started out so well, which should’ve been a clear sign to Dimitri that something was amiss. He’d been giddy all day after getting a text from Beleth saying her brother was coming, and had even brought a few books he’d love to discuss with him. Conversations like that were usually reserved for Ashe (who really loved his high fantasy novels), Ingrid (she was partial to female leads in her stories), and Edelgard (their ‘discussions’ were more like debates), but talking with someone whose job it was to be analytical? It filled him with excitement.

Explaining this didn’t exactly stop the questioning looks his friends gave him, though surprisingly Claude wasn’t one of them. In fact, he was oddly quiet for most of the day, saying that he simply had a lot on his mind. While Dimitri accepted that response, he would still catch Claude staring at him from the corner of his eye. His enthusiasm outweighed his worry, though he made a mental note check on him after his session.

Edelgard was accompanying him once more, though any talk about her relationship status with Beleth was skillfully evaded. He didn’t push too hard, especially after she gave him a glare that reminded him a little _too_ much of emperor she once was. Once they reached the library, his feet automatically lead him to their usual table, but instead of seeing one body there are two. When Dimitri focused on the second figure, he stopped dead in his track.

Time seemed to slow down, and his heart began to hammer in his chest so hard he feared everyone around him could hear. His breathing became shallow, and even though he knew Edelgard was standing right next to him, the sound of her voice sounded muffled, distant. It isn’t until their eyes meet that he feels his throat tighten uncomfortably, making him unable to utter a single word. In a desperate attempt to do _something_, Dimitri grasped randomly at one of the racing thoughts his mind was cycling through.

So, in a panic, he ended up dropping everything he was holding and sprinting out the door.

Dimitri doesn’t even remember the run back to his house, just the feel of the wind whipping past his face and the need to just _go_. Collapsing on his bed, he took some time to collect himself, and it was then that he noticed the tremors in his body. Once they had subsided and the fog of panic had lifted, Dimitri immediately screamed into his pillow.

**_What the ever-loving fuck is wrong with him_**?! He had spent years practically begging the universe for a chance meeting, but once the universe actually answers his pleads, Dimitri had to go and make a fool of himself.

Byleth had been _right there_, and he’d fled like a goddamn coward.

Sliding off the bed with a groan, pillow pressed against his chest, Dimitri wonders if he should’ve seen this coming. Given that Beleth had looked so much like Byleth, the moment she mentioned having a brother should’ve put him on high alert. At least then he could’ve prepared himself better, but all he had done instead was demonstrate why he was the star of the track team.

He stares up at the ceiling contemplating what he should do now, allowing time slip away from him. Texting either Edelgard or Beleth would be a good move, especially since he’d sprinted out of there without so much as a word. But what would he say? Dimitri didn’t like lying, but he can’t exactly tell them he panicked because the man responsible for shaking some sense into him during a past life just happens to be Beleth’s brother. Yeah that’s sure to go over well…He has little interest in triggering old memories in them, so he’ll have to suck it up and think of something convincing.

The sound of the doorbell ringing startles him, and as feathers begin to scatter around the room, he dreads having to tell his mother he needs _another_ new pillow.

“One thing at a time…” he grumbles to himself.

Setting the now ripped pillow aside, he removes himself from the floor, and as he heads downstairs, Dimitri mentally goes over excuses just in case Edelgard or Beleth are on the other side. But apparently the universe decided it wasn’t done with him. He tenses up once the door is opened, because standing there is the reason for his hasty retreat from the library.

“Hello…” Byleth says, and _oh_…

Oh dear sweet goddess, he hasn’t heard that voice in so long. Just the sound of it makes his stomach do a back-flip, but he knows he needs to pull himself together. Taking a deep breath, he tries his best to speak like a normal, functioning human being.

“H-Hi,” he squeaks out, voice jumping a full two octaves in the process.

_‘Real smooth, Dimitri, real smooth…’_ he thinks to himself.

Coughing into his fist, he straightens up and tries again.

“A-Apologies for running off,” he manages to get out, and it proud of himself for doing that much, “something, um, urgent came up.”

“So urgent that you literally dropped everything and ran back home…?” Byleth asks, brow raising ever so slightly.

“Yes! Um…my cat! One of my cats wasn’t feeling well this morning, and I wanted to check up on him! He’s not as young as he used to be, so I can’t help but worry whenever I notice some amiss with him. Just last month he gave us a scare-"

_‘SHUT. UP. YOU. DUMB. ASS!’_ his mind screams, and Dimitri just wants to find a corner to rot in. He’s _rambling_, and worse yet he’s brought his poor cat into it. He can almost feel Brie's judgmental stare burning a hole in his back, and he’s sure Feta is sitting next to him doing the same.

Dimitri silently promises to make it up to them, but first he needs to get a handle on the situation.

“Forgive me, I keep going on and on and yet I hadn't even the courtesy to properly introduce myself. I am Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd, crown-”

He barely stops himself from reciting the same thing he had the day Byleth first set foot in the monastery, when he’d been tasked to speak to the house leaders before choosing which class he’d teach. Having spent so many lifetimes replaying the same scene over and over, who could really blame Dimitri for almost switching to autopilot? But he isn’t at the monastery, his curious gaze following the mercenary who hadn’t shown a single emotion since they’d met.

Dimitri doesn’t have to repeat himself because they aren’t those people anymore. Not a mercenary and a prince, just…two people caught in a very awkward situation of Dimitri’s own making.

“…I’m Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd, and I’m unfortunately making myself look like an utter fool,” he finally says with a small chuckle.

The corner of Byleth’s mouth twitches slightly.

“Don’t worry, my sister warned me about your…quirks.”

“Q-Quirks-?!”

“I’m Byleth Eisner,” he says, “I’d shake your hand, but…”

It’s only now that Dimitri notices he’s holding a stack of books, the very same books he’d dropped in the library. Another apology leaves him as he scrambles to take them, but in doing so their hands end up brushing against one another. He jolts back at the contact, as if the other’s touch had shocked him, which causes the books to tumble to the ground.

Dimitri doesn’t think he’s ever apologized so much in such a short span of time.

He immediately begins helping Byleth pick them up, and he can’t bring himself to meet the other’s gaze. As he’s setting them down on the console table just inside next to the front door, he notices that the book on top of the pile isn’t his. Examining it, he doesn’t see the telltale markings to indicate that it’s a library book, so he’s even more confused at how it got there.

“It’s mine,” he hears Byleth say, and he quickly turns his attention back to him. “My sister said you liked historical fiction, so I thought you’d enjoy it.”

His already heated cheeks feel like they’re on fire, and the sheer affection he feels for the man standing in front of him causes his heart to swell. Borrowing a book seemed like such a trivial thing; he’d done so with quite a few of his friends, and he always tried his best to return them in the condition he’d gotten them. But for Byleth, who Dimitri assumes does not remember him, to go out of his way to select a book with him in mind makes him feel lightheaded in the best possible way.

Dimitri practically beams as he thanks Byleth, who in turn gives him a little nod of acknowledgment before an unreadable expression settles on his features. It causes him a little confusion, but Dimitri quickly figures that maybe he’s anxious about temporarily parting with his book.

“Don’t worry, I’ll make sure to return it by the end of the week-”

“Page 130.”

“Pardon?”

“I…” he hesitates, eyes darting to the side before focusing on him again, and Dimitri sees a spark of _something_ in his eyes, “I highlighted a passage on page 130 that might interest you.”

Oh, so that’s what it is. With a bright smile Dimitri eagerly flips through the book until he reaches the right page. It’s easy to spot the lines highlighted in bright yellow, and he gives Byleth a quick glance before he starts reading.

_[Kneeling before the throne, his gloved hand finds the king’s, and he knows from the clatter of armor around him that the guards are coming to protect their liege. All it takes is a single word from the man they’re trying to defend for them to halt, and once the king’s full attention is on him, he places a small kiss against each of his knuckles._

_‘Your Highness,’ he begins, voice velvety smooth but also full of remorse, ‘I know my absence has caused you great distress, but if you can find it in your heart to forgive me, I will never leave your side again. I will be your sword, your shield, your confidant, even your bedmate if you allow me to atone for taking so long to return.]_

His grip on the book tightens, and Dimitri manages to exert an extreme amount of control to make sure he doesn’t rip the book in half. He reads the highlighted lines over and over and over again, and the only thing that snaps him out of his trance is the sight of droplets falling to the page. His vision blurs for a moment, and oh…he’s crying. Swallowing the lump in his throat, he doesn’t know what he should say to Byleth as his mind begins a vicious tug-of-war.

This can’t be a coincidence; out of all the passages for Byleth to bring to his attention, _that_ was the one he chose? If that’s the case, then perhaps he…No, no, no, no! It’s wrong of him jump to such a conclusion, and what right did he have to put such a high expectation on someone he just met? He’s setting himself up for failure and that dark part of him berates him, calls him a fool for even entertaining the idea that he’s deserving of such fortune.

The book is slowly eased out of his vice like grip, and Dimitri’s hands are gently taken by Byleth’s. As their fingers lace together, he’s reminded of the time in the rain, when he’d been ready to go on a suicide mission to Enbarr because he was so _tired _and_ broken_. As the sole survivor of the massacre, what right did he have to live? If not for the dead, did he even have a reason to fight? And then…

“I’m so sorry, Dimitri, I didn’t mean to-”

“Your hands…” he begins, and winces slightly at the sound of his voice cracking, “are so warm…have they always been…?”

The hold on his hands tightens, and after a moment of hesitation, Dimitri finally looks up at Byleth. He expects to see surprise, or even confusion on his face, but is instead met with an expression he can only describe as _relief_. His breath catches in his throat at the small smile on his lips, the very same one that had captured his heart so long ago.

“They have…My King.”

Without a second thought, Dimitri embraces him and buries his nose in dark locks. A part of him fears this is all a dream, fears that at any moment he’ll wake up in his bed frustrated and angry at himself. But the warmth of Byleth’s arms encircling his waist is enough to convince him that there’s nothing to worry about.

Byleth is here with him, and even though tears continue to run down his cheeks, Dimitri cannot help but smile.

**Author's Note:**

> Beleth later takes Dimitri aside and tells him point-blank that if he hurts her brother, she's breaking his kneecaps.


End file.
